Discipline please

Children need discipline. They need rules and boundaries. Disciplining your child doesn't mean you will stifle their creativity or break their spirit. Children need to understand there are rules and learn to respect authority figures. They need to be taught that even if they don't always agree with the person of authority, they need to show proper respect. Tantrums should never be rewarded with attention. However, a well thought out argument against your decision presented in a calm, respectful way should be taken seriously and given proper consideration. (even parents are wrong sometimes) Teach your children when it is appropriate to disagree and the proper way to handle it. I think parents should pick their "top ten"(or 15) list of unacceptable behavior and enforce it 100% of the time. Let the trivial issues go. If you constantly are correcting a child for every little thing they will tune you out. If you only correct a child 50% of the time for breaking a particular rule, they will keep breaking the rule. Why not? They have a 50% chance of getting away with it! Choose your battles.

 Time spent actually interacting with your children and building a relationship is what I believe truly empowers you as a parent and disciplinarian. My advice to new parents is REALLY spend time with your children. Find out what interests them and do that activity with them. Interact on their level. We all tend to do this with infants, playing peek-a-boo for hours. But, for some reason, as children get older many parents start to switch over to expecting their children to take an interest in what they, the parents, like or to completely entertain themselves. While children need to learn to entertain themselves, they should not be left to do so all the time. They definitely need supervision. By all means introduce the children to activities you enjoy,  but stay tuned in to activities they really enjoy. Play in the refrigerator box with them, build with Legos, have a tea party, learn the names and powers of 100 Pokemon, or watch your child's favorite TV show with them. I  recently learned to play Mario Kart Wii because my youngest son enjoys gaming so much and the Wii controller makes it simple enough for even a novice like me to do passably well. We play pretty regular. We talk pretty regular when we play. ( I am now somewhat addicted to Mario Kart.)  As a parent, you don't want the only real conversations with your children to be about homework and discipline issues.

 It is important not to cross the line from being a parent to just being one of their friends.  Your children owe you respect even when you are playing games with them and they need to recognize that they are not your equal. You can still have fun.  If you develop a good relationship with your children it will help you be a more effective disciplinarian when the need arises.  That is my opinion. I have no degree or certification, just the experience of raising four children and my personal observations of the multitudes of families I have crossed paths with over the years. Like all parents, I have done some things right and some things not so right. I have tried to learn from the "not so right" and really that is all any of us can do. I do think it is a positive and healthy thing for children to see that their parents make mistakes. How we handle our mistakes, like all of our actions, teach our children. So, go play games with your children and have fun. Everyone will benefit from it.

The Momma